Sunday, February 22, 2009

Weekend stillness

This is a still moment in a rather lazy weekend. I've been sleepy and slow, though I should be doing many things (grading papers, following up on some work projects, cleaning my house, vigorously pursuing insight through journaling), but instead I've been napping.

But perhaps I need to accept the limits of time, and gently release myself from my driven expectations. I need a new way to make decisions about how to spend time: not driven by inner compulsions, or (as often happens) resisting the inner compulsions by wasting time in ingenious ways. How about finding out what would really give me joy? How about connecting to someone I care about? How about doing something to renew my body, like some yoga stretches? What would it be like if I could act out of something positive, instead of this old compulsion-resistance dance?


Anna said...

I know the feeling so well. So often I'm torn between getting up and doing something, or just sitting around on the internet... well, as I'm writing this at gone 2 in the morning, I'm sure you can tell that laziness usually wins out ;)

Still trying, though. Tomorrow's a new day. Well let's not go crazy - tomorrow AFTERNOON is a new day.

Minka said...

Napping is not just that. It is also thinking and re-thinking things over. Just before the journey into the Dreamland and as soon as you return (in the minutes before you get up) you can organize your plans and visualize the things you intend to do. Everything can go more smoothly, then.

It is not alwys the case, but it can often be. Besides, an afternoon nap is a wonderful recharge of batteries. Ten or twenty minutes used that way are not wasted. :D

Mary Ellen said...

Yes, I do love a nap. Hard to do in the middle of a work day, though! Yesterday was an all-day conference, but today was back to the old grind.