This is a still moment in a rather lazy weekend. I've been sleepy and slow, though I should be doing many things (grading papers, following up on some work projects, cleaning my house, vigorously pursuing insight through journaling), but instead I've been napping.
But perhaps I need to accept the limits of time, and gently release myself from my driven expectations. I need a new way to make decisions about how to spend time: not driven by inner compulsions, or (as often happens) resisting the inner compulsions by wasting time in ingenious ways. How about finding out what would really give me joy? How about connecting to someone I care about? How about doing something to renew my body, like some yoga stretches? What would it be like if I could act out of something positive, instead of this old compulsion-resistance dance?
3 days ago