I'm thinking - if not working for someone else, the kid can work for us to earn spending money - and has been doing so, yard work for the last couple of days. After that - some household dreck purging? Helping us part with some of the thousands of books / videotapes / magazines?
The hardest part of the transition is working to adjust pronouns, as the former young man moves through the steps to become a young woman. Can't say "he" anymore, but "she" doesn't come trippingly to the tongue either.
I don't know how to talk about it, really. Gender transition hasn't become as common as same-sex preference. My mom lamented, when told about the situation, that it would have been so much easier to handle the kid's coming out as gay - we've got cousins, friends, etc., who have done that, and it's a known quantity.
Will love and trust and a good sense of humor pull us all through this?
In a fairly small house with only one bathroom?
5 comments:
love and trust and a sense of humor will get you through. just remember, on the inside s/he is the same person you nurtured and loved.
Sounds like you are well on your way.
I think the new reality is that many people of your child's generation face a future where they will have to create their own job. Hopefully yours will find a place in the circle which will reward talent and creativity.
Hmmmm... I don't know quite what to say, myself. It's not that I'm *morally opposed* or any of that. It's just that I can't find a way to conceive of someone wanting to change gender.
However. There's no question that love, trust and a good sense of humor are custom-designed for situations far more difficult than this. You'll do fine, I suspect.
On the other hand, there is that one bathroom. How's your youngest with plumbing and sheetrock? ;)
I heard about this via Zoe, who sent E's Facebook page: my wonder, as a mother, was maybe there were hints of this transition?
Knowing your youngest since pre-birth, I do remember the most beautiful baby in the world (I thought so!), a solidly independent and thoughtful toddler and preschooler, a vegetarian by first grade, and then I lost track.
You two are the most open, humble, loving parents I know: certainly a model for me. I know you ALL will be beautiful and real and imaginative through the next months as the gender settles in.
xo
Post a Comment